Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Hecho en Argentina

Excuse the long silence...

You didn't ask, but I'll tell you that this whole turn-our-lives-upside-down thing first came up about a year and a half ago. I got pregnant and, despite the fact that it was what we'd intended, it made me cry three times a day. Mostly I cried when I looked at Ila and thought about how crappy, tired and impatient a mom I already was and tried to imagine that times two. Sometimes I cried because the days were getting shorter and I couldn't bear the idea of being a pregnant mother of a toddler, stuck alone winter nights in our unwalkable neighborhood. Other times it was because I knew I'd never get to quit my job working for an evil corporate giant (albeit with good people). So when the tadpole's heart stopped beating at about 9 weeks, I was filled with relief. I gladly resumed my coffee and red wine habits and resolved that we would address some of the things that had made me feel so afraid. I'd had suspicions that something wasn't right with the little worm, so it wasn't a terrible shock, and after all, we had a perfectly good one at home already.

And so, the process began. I thought I'd start by seeing a therapist to sort out what was what, but my friend Penny suggested her financial counselor instead. It sounded strange, but I gave it a shot, and sure enough two hours of financial counseling gave me the equivalent peace of mind of about two months on the couch. Alicia told us we had to decide whether to refinance our house and stay for another five to ten years, or sell it, and soon. Our cat died. My mom told us we could always stay with her and it was decided. Despite the fact that we'd be tearing Ila and ourselves away from the best across-the-street neighbors a family could have, this was the time to try something different if ever we were going to do it.

And now it's been about six months since we left California. Things are really up in the air, though I imagine they'll start to settle down a little soon. They kind of have to. Because I'm pregnant again. Made in Argentina no less. And this time I'm not crying as much but I'm miserably sick which is half the reason Ila and I hightailed it back to the old US of A. We just saw the little creature on the ultrasound a couple of weeks ago, and it's jumping up and down, happy as can be and making me want to heave. So, while we still don't have jobs, are undecided about where we're going to live next, and we're whiling away our COBRA benefits, we are safe and sound in a pretty house, in the middle of a glorious spring (I forgot about spring!) with a baby on the way.

It's all very overwhelming, but exciting at the same time. One sad thing: for now, I associate anything South American, including the entire Spanish language, with nausea. So when people ask about our amazing trip, I just shrug and say it was fun, but that I'm glad to be back, any more and I have to excuse myself. Good thing I took notes.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Welcome back Jess - I've missed you. Your voice sounds good. Keep 'em coming!!

And congratulations on the baby and all the other good stuff happening or going to happen - life goes on, eh?

Betsy